Rise of the Valkyrie
by Eastbound Traveller
Summary: It's war. Reasonable men vs Mevolent lackeys. On a routine (for them) suicide mission, the Deadmen run into trouble and are helped out by a mysterious girl in black, with strange magic and a silver tongue. Not to mention a personality that reminds them of a certain missing skeleton. Dimension/time-travel/shenanigan AU. Post Dying of the Light Valkyrie.


Chapter 1

It was a sunny, typical, non-life threatening day in the Swiss Alps…. Is what Ghastly wished was the case.

For once in this stupid war, couldn't something go according to plan? This wasn't even a well-paid plan or even a plan at all! The plan was days ago.

There was a collection of sensitive materials and generally dangerous magical stuff in a stronghold you'd have to be an idiot to attack without an army. So their side decided to send in the Deadmen: Ghastly Bespoke, Erskine Ravel, Anton Shudder, Dexter Vex, Saracen Rue, Larrikin, and Hopeless to do it.

Because we're the idiots sent in to get things done.

Annoyingly the elders thought that a group of 7 men could do what an army couldn't and destroy one of Mevolent's strongholds alone. They were right, but the least they could do was secure their extraction point.

Someone it the intelligence department was getting acquainted with Anton's gist if this was what constitutes an 'abandoned' village.

It was a two days walk from their mission so that the teleporter wouldn't be magically blocked by artefacts in the stronghold. Arriving during a small snowstorm meant that only Saracen's timely shout saved Larrikin from having his head blonde off when the storm suddenly cleared and the abandoned town was seen to be filled by gun-toting Mevolent mages.

Scattering quickly, the dead men split off into groups, engaging Mevolent's men through various ruined houses. Shudder, Saracen and Vex moved towards the Village square; they hoped to clear it before our extraction arrived. Ghastly and Ravel went right, circling the square while dashing house to house to thin the herd. Finally Larrikin and Hopeless split off to disrupt the enemy, sowing discord among their ranks.

No words were spoken amongst the group, they just sprang into action, each knowing their roles. Ravel used the air to propel himself through the wooden shutters of the first house's window while Ghastly broke through the door.

Inside, the 4 barely trained men fumbled their guns as two of the legendary dead men went to work. Delivering a decisive liver shot to the first man before dismantling the second like only a boxer can, Ghastly had his two down only a second after Ravel dealt with his. Shooting the furthest man before using his gauntlet to brutally down the closer, Ravel briefly locked eyes with Ghastly before they both dashed to the next house.

In the alley between houses, they had to quickly duck when an energy thrower ambushed them. Before either man could move to deal with their new enemy, a blur appeared behind him, killing him with a single shot to the head.

Hopeless, their resident speedster, spared them a nod before dashing off to help someone else.

Resuming their work, Ghastly moved house to house with Ravel as they cleared the houses on the east side of the square.

Glancing out the window, Ghastly looked to see how the others were doing once they cleared the 4th house. Vex, Shudder, and Saracen were held up in some sort of walled memorial in the middle of the square. Saracen calling out targets for the other members of his trio as they took fire from the Northwest.

Barging into the next house, Ghastly was instantly accosted by a much better fighter than what he had faced so far. While Ravel tangled with his own elemental adversary, a sword-wielding fanatic slashed at Ghastly.

Bobbing and weaving around each sword slash while lashing out his own quick jabs. Neither man hit his mark as the two danced around one another, only to be interrupted when the flaming corpse of Ravels for flew past Ghastly, causing the swordsmen to dodge back.

With space to breath and Ravel at his side, Ghastly took in the room. His eyes were drawn to the burning corpse behind his enemy. The fire spreading from the dead body and onto the boxes it was on top of. Boxes labelled exolosi-

Crap.

Realising at the same time what was about to happen, both dead men quickly throw up a wall of air to protect themselves. Thinking they were going to attack, the swordsmen dodged back only to be eviscerated by the sudden explosion.

Thrown back through the wall, the dead men struggled to stand. Disoriented, Ghastly looked up to see 3 of Mevolent's men with guns preparing to shoot him like a dog.

The man at the back of the executioners' trio raised his gun, shooting his compatriots dead without a second's hesitation. Larrikin's disguise melted away as he moved to drag Ghastly to the dead men's makeshift bunker in the square. Hopeless arriving to do the same for Ravel.

A shot tore through Larrikin's calf making him fall forward, dragging Ghastly with him. Mevolent's men on the north side of the square started to prepare a volley of magic to wipe out the exposed good guys, only to be ripped apart.

A distorted image of Shudder ripped through the assembled men, long claws moving through the gathered meat like butter. The long-haired visage grew clearer with each pass through the enemy ranks, gleefully tearing them apart, and giving the other dead men time to retrieve their wounded comrades.

With all seven of them gathered, Ghastly surveyed the damage. He and Ravel were still shaken but otherwise fine, Shudder had a nasty burn adorning his right arm, and Larrikin's leg was being bandaged by Hopeless. All in all, they were doing pretty well.

Once Shudder reeled in his gist, shots were once again traded, with noticeably fewer shots coming from Mevolent's side.

"Oh, this is bad," Saracen said with an almost fearful tone.

Looking to his knowledgeable friend, Ghastly was about to ask what was wrong when he felt him. They all felt him.

The fighting ceased as even the enemy was scared about the new arrival and the storm around them dissipated as if it knew it was unwelcome. All eyes turned to look up the mountain at the speck that stalled them. The fact they could feel him from this distance was just a testament to why he was so feared, a flex of his power to make them all stew in fear.

Lord Vile had arrived.

Would they all just drop dead? No, Vile was feeling playful.

Darkness rose from the juggernaut's armour and speared into the ground and up the mountain, destabilising the snow and causing a cascade of white. Both sides watched in horror as an avalanche was thrown down the mountain towards them.

Dropping their weapons, Mevolent's men tried to run, but the dead men stead prepared. Hiding behinds the sturdiest building, the elementals in their group set up a strong snow breaker of air to try and redirect the flow of snow around them while Vex through energy blasts to try and weaken the avalanche.

When it finally hit their shelter weathered it well. The initial force broke part of the outer wall, collapsing on Hopeless and breaking his army in a sickening crunch. The speedster screamed in pain as he started to be dragged away, Ghastly jumping after him and forming a protective air barrier, so they weren't buried by the snow.

The snow around them finally settled, with most of it still rumbling down the mountain along with several of the town's buildings. Looking around, Ghastly saw he and Hopeless were now on the edge of town.

The boxer sat down to catch his breath while Hopeless leaned against the wall of a nearby building, clutching his broken arm close to his chest. Looking up to his old-time friend, Ghastly was about to saw they best get back to the rest of the idiots when his blood ran cold.

Turning at the sight of Ghastly's expression, Hopeless saw the pulsing ebony armour of Vile standing behind him. Neither man was ready for this fight. Both were exhausted.

Vile twisted his head curiously as his armour rose in vicious spikes rushing forward to skewer Hopeless. Only for white lightning to stagger Mevolent's most powerful general. The shadows drew back defensively as another bolt hit Vile's chest plate, forcing him back another step.

Ghastly had no time to look at the black-clad woman that ran past him as she charged towards Vile. The moment she passed Hopeless, a white barrier of energy launched out from her, slamming into Vile and launching him into a nearby building. "RUN!" She shouted, throwing Hopeless at Ghastly as she turned to face Vile.

The necromancer emerged from where he was thrown, unhurt but seemingly curious about the new combatant who dived into one of the ruined buildings as his shadows ripped through the air where she had stood.

Carrying his friend on his shoulder, Ghastly ran, only looking back to see Vile tear the building their savour had dived into in half before dodging out the way of another streak of white lightning.

Sprinting through the snow, clearing the way with sloppy blasts of air, Ghastly made his way to where he hoped the other Deadmen were. Hopefully, the girl was as good a fighter as he hoped; otherwise, she wouldn't last long enough for him, and whoever else wasn't injured to join the fray.

Breaking into the square, Ghastly saw his comrades. Shudder and Larkin together, the former still catching his breath while the latter was tended to by Ravel; meanwhile, Vex and Rue were looking to where Ghastly just emerged, Saracen likely knowing where they were coming from before they even arrived.

Before the warning had a chance to leave his mouth the building behind him exploded, the girl who saved them twisting in the air from what had to be a glancing blow, landing and rolling in the snow ahead of them. Vile rising from the rubble behind her. Shadowy spears erupted from the ground, awaking behind Vile in a great wave ready to wash over them when everything stopped.

Standing not a stone's throw away in the centre of the square was their teleporter, probably about to say something stupid as all teleporters who hadn't learnt the world doesn't revolve around them… so all of them.

You could tell the moment he saw Vile.

The necromantic powerhouse had made quite the reputation since he broke into the war a few years ago. The jury was still out on who was more powerful between him and Mevolent, but stories about Mevolent were usually political whereas stories about Lord Vile were just about killing. Fast or slow. Armies or Champions. He just killed.

That kind of being standing before the teleporter, who was more of a glorified transport than a soldier, just made his mind go blank. He couldn't move, couldn't think, he just shut down and cowered.

The moment shattered as Vex moved first. Twin streams of purple energy slammed into Vile's chest, forcing the air-bound mage back inches before shadows coalesced, pushing back against the flow in an unnecessary contest of strength that Vile decided to win painfully slowly.

While Dexter tried to hold off their attacker, the rest of the Deadmen moved; Vex's hands were already burning, putting out more energy than he could safely manage just to buy them precious seconds.

Ghastly and Ravel pushed the air, launching themselves and their wounded comrades towards their curled up teleporter. Not a moment after they were ready, Saracen grabbed Vex's shoulder, and the two turned and ran towards them.

Without the stream of energy to compete with, Vile's shadows cascaded down only to be pushed back as Ghastly and Ravel sent one last push of air against them. Out of the corner of his eye, Ghastly saw Hopeless shakily get up, wanting to quickly grab their friends but the speedster wasn't going to make it.

Exhausted, Ghastly watched unable to do anything as dark tendrils descended on his friends only the slam against a barrier of white light. Darting his eyes to the girl who saved him earlier, he saw her holding up an uninjured arm, evidently focusing on shielding them from Vile's attack.

As the shadowy spears bounced off her shield, the hungry shadows dashed towards their denyer.

Everything after happened in but a few seconds.

Hopeless was gone from his side, wrapping his good arm around the girl Hopeless dashed towards them, the speedster carrying her with him.

The moment she moved her shield collapsed shadows lunging forward.

Hopeless collapsed In Front of him the same moment Saracen and Vex arrived. Grabbing Saracen, who was holding Dexter, with one hand Ghastly gripped Hopeless with the other; meanwhile Larrikin held Ghastly's leg while Shudder linked him and Ravel.

"SANCTUARY!" Ravel shouted, practically crushing the teleporters arm in his grip as he slapped him with his free hand.

Pitch black swords rained down, stabbing into the snow where the Deadmen stood not a moment ago.

Leaving Lord Vile to just curiously turn his head before disappearing into his shadow.

* * *

It was day's like this, ones that Guild almost, almost missed that stupid skeleton.

Thankfully, all the other days, he was in the right mind to remember how much he hated Skulduggery. The man was as undeniably smart as he was unapologetically stupid and annoying, and aggravating, and just generally a pain really.

Would Guild feel better if he was here? On a personal level, no; he hated him. On a professional level, probably; better to be annoyed than killed and the members of the Deadmen were a prominent reason the war wasn't lost.

Guild just wished they were less annoying. But if Skulduggery were here, he would at least have someone to help with all this paperwork.

Who knew war could be as boring an office job as any other? Deployments, enemy movement, strategic targets. Whatever Skulduggery was, and he was a lot of negative things, he definitely had a mind for this sort of thing.

Not that he would have helped. At the very least, chasing him down and berating him would have been an excellent excuse to leave all this work behind if only for an hour or three. At the very least, it wouldn't be boring.

He had just started reading a uniquely dull report from one of his Exigency agents when the alarm sounded.

Guild's assistant was barged out the way the moment she opened the door. Guild was quickly flanked by half a dozen Cleaver's making there way to the elder conference room the alarm had sounded from, frantic civilian mages fleeing past them in a panic as they sprinted down the corridors.

How had the perimeter been breached? Were the elders in session? No, he didn't think so. Why couldn't today just be boring? What could have gotten this far without them noticing? Was it a Mevolent task force? An assassination attempt? Or, or… it was a group of idiots. Idiots who had broken a perfectly good table.

After breaking down the door in a hurry Guild and the Cleaver's were treated to the sight of the sprawled out members of the Deadmen, evidently having landed on the elders' council table. Along with them was that teleporter with the stupid name Guild never bothered to learn and some woman he didn't know at all.

Narrowing his eyes, Guild was about to berate the group for causing such an uproar when he notices the state of them. The idiot Larrikin was in a particularly bad state, looking very pale from blood loss and Hopeless one of the more tolerable of the group was cradling his arm with clenched teeth. The rest seemed to be in varying states of exhaustion.

"Go get a medical team immediately," Guild ordered one of the Cleaver's before turning back to the Deadmen. "Now-"

"Is everyone okay?" Ravel interrupted, struggling to stand.

"Don't think anyone's in danger of dying," Rue replied, not even bothering to try and get up from his spread-out position on the ground.

"I don't know..." the girl stated gaining the attention of the Deadmen, worriedly looking her over as she stood. "Hey Dexter, take your shirt off if your okay!"

"Hahaha," Larrikin bellowed despite his condition. The rest of the Deadmen sharing varying degrees of suppressed chuckling bar Shudder who just shook his head.

Rising against the protest of his muscles, Ghastly approached the girl who had saved him at least twice, surprisingly she wasn't taken aback by the scars on his face; usually, people would be situated or at least startled.

Instead, this girl took it in her stride. Looking at her, she seemed quite young, but for mages that could be quite a broad age range, her eyes were dark and intense matching well with her dark brown hair. She was probably pretty. Ghastly wasn't really an expert on the matter.

Clothing, on the other hand, was and hers was very well made. She wore a tunic, tight black trousers, a 3 quarter length coat and a pair of combat boots. It was all black, either for personal preference of stealth, either way, it looked good. It was evident practicality was placed above style, but the designer still took care to make it look good if a bit boyish in design. A far cry from what normal women wear and looking a bit snug but it suited her.

From looking, he could tell it was some sort of magic fabric. If Ghastly didn't know any better he'd say he made it himself, so similar was the craftsmanship. The only comparatively cheap piece of clothing was a pair of black gloves, probably bought for the cold of the mountains, now reduced to a couple of fabric wristbands from using her power.

"Thank you," Ghastly stated, briefly wondering why Skulduggery found that so difficult, it was 2 words.

"Eh, you would have been fine," the girl dismissed quickly before lifting her left arm with her right. "Hey, could you hold this."

Realising her arm was dislocated, Ghastly braced it and was about to count down to pop it back in when she slammed it in her self, eliciting the most girlish squeak of pain Ghastly would ever likely hear from her.

"SUGAR HONEY ICE TEA, that stings," the girl quickly retrieved some kind of leaf from her pockets. Popping it into her mouth, she sagged in what seemed like relief, the wonders of modern medicine.

That's when the medical team arrived, quickly seeing to his wounded comrades: Larrikin and Hopeless on stretchers receiving initial first aid, a blushing doctor rubbing burn cream into Dexter's hands and the girl waving them off and leaning against the back wall furthest from the door.

"Alright, now who are-"

"Ghastly you okay?" Saracen asked, once again interrupting Guild. "You were running around a lot after that avalanche."

"I'm good, Hopeless took the worst of it."

"Eh, he'll be fine," Saracen waved off. "He's just a bit delirious, pretty sure I heard him laugh so probably a concussion knocking him closer to us on the Shudder-Larrikin scale. Reminds me," Saracen stepped towards the girl, offering his hand and the best handsome face he could muster. "Saracen Rue, brave war hero and member of the Deadmen at your service. What's your name beautiful?"

Ghastly massaged the bridge of his nose to ward off the headache Saracen was about to cause. Why did their knowledgeable teammate have to do this every time? Thankfully the girl had a different reaction than most the woman Saracen somehow seduced.

Rolling her eyes, the girl took his hand and shook it with her good arm, "Valkyrie Cain." She replied only being heard by himself and Rue as Larrikin loudly talked about turnip farmers with the other Deadmen. "I know who the Deadmen are Saracen."

"Ah, my courageous reputation precedes me then!" Rue continued, still flirting with the girl dubbed Valkyrie.

"No," she replied with a smirk. "I just know things."

Ghastly could have hugged her when he saw Saracens dumbfounded expression after she dropped his hand, leaning back against the wall.

It took Saracen all of 3 seconds to recover, "so what else do you-"

SNAP

Eye's swivelled towards the sound, only to see Guild having stomped on a piece of broken table to get their attention.

"Guild, that's property damage."

"Shut up Dexter," Guild glared at the straight-faced joker. "Now, in the simplest way, I could possibly ask… why. Are. You. Here?"

"Guild I thought you knew who we were," Larrikin said with the fakest look of concern Ghastly had seen in ages.

"Of course I-"

"Then you should know none of us are teleporters, so why would we know why we are here?" Larrikin annoyingly reasoned, strangely lucid given the pain he's in.

Clutching his nose, Guild could feel a headache coming on, entirely from having to deal with these capable idiots. Seeing the unconscious teleporter against the wall, he just knew this was going to be his whole day. "So let me get your story straight. You were returning, injured from your mission-"

"Actually we were fine. Mevolent's men didn't even know we were there until they were on fire," Dexter interrupted.

"So why are you all so hurt?"

"Because guild," Ravel answered with an annoyed tone. "Your intelligence officers need to look up 'abandoned village for easy extraction' in the dictionary; because it certainly doesn't mean 'fortified Mevolent town for a fight for your life'."

"Pretty sure those terms aren't in the dictionary," Ghastly flatly stated.

"Well, they should be! And then Vile showed up! Isn't he supposed to be in Africa?"

Guild's eyes widened at the mention of Vile. No wonder the Deadmen were being more annoying than usual. Well… the same amount of annoying but just with less of a filter. Sighing Guild knew he couldn't blame them for their 'hasty' exit.

You don't dawdle with Vile around.

"Ravel, we'll need to make a full report to elder Meritorious." Seeing Ravel nod and thankfully not open his mouth, Guild moved to the last point of concern. "Who's the girl?"

"I'm me," she stated with a grin that reminded Guild of a particular infuriating skeleton.

"Listen you-"

"No not you, me."

"Shut up and listen to me, y-"

"Glad you agree!"

"...Agree to what?"

"To listen to me."

Taking a deep breath, Guild tried to calm down. If he could talk to Skulduggery without BLUDGEONING him, he could speak with this girl. "Okay, please listen miss me-"

"Why would I miss you, I don't even know you!"

Okay, SCREW THIS.

Seeing GGuild was about to burst a blood vessel, shudder stepped in. "She helped us escape, held of Lord Vile after the avalanche so we could regroup and hold out for the teleporter."

Spoilsport was probably going through the mind of the pouting girl.

"She fought Vile 1 on 1?" Guild asked, his anger melting away under genuine curiosity. Few people could fight Vile, and all were well-known names with reputations to match. There wasn't just a random girl who could fight Vile.

"More like fell back with style," Ghastly chimed in.

"I was very stylish," the girl added in rather pointlessly, probably just to annoy Guild.

"Well, either way," Guild started in an authoritarian tone. "She's an unknown entity that's infiltrated our sanctuary and will be detained until we know we can trust her."

The Deadmen looked unsure about that. Sure technically, it was true, but the girl was an ally. Before they could interject though, the girl spoke first. "Yeah, that's not going to happen."

"You will be detained either voluntarily or by force," Guild stated, gesturing to the Cleavers'.

"Frankly Guild," Valkyrie started in a condescending tone. "I think you should be ashamed, harassing me while a severely injured man hasn't even been taken to the hospital yet!"

"Larrikin and Hopeless are being seen to, you are my primary-"

"I was talking about Dexter. Look at him!"

With a sudden flash of concern, Guild and the Deadmen all looked towards Dexter. Only to find him looking very confused. "Ummm, I'm fine?"

"No your not," the girl emphasised dramatically. "Someone get this man some water, he's going into shock!"

Now almost everyone looked confused; Cleavers being obvious exceptions. "Guys, I am really okay..."

"No your not Dexter, you were clearly told to take off your shirt if you were okay! I can't even see your abbs!"

It was at this moment, Larrikin broke. He wasn't the only one. But he was undoubtedly the loudest as he erupted in, probably painful, manic laughter.

"Enough!" Killjoy Guild shouted. "Are you coming with me willingly or do I have to have the cleavers drag you to your cell?"

"Or, option C."

"She's going to run," Saracen warned.

"Block the exits," Guild ordered the Cleavers. Wrong choice.

The wall behind the girl opened up, and she sprinted through, into the darkness. It took less than 5 seconds for a Cleaver to register the new exit and dash across the room, only just stopping before being crushed by the wall slamming closed.

Quickly they tried to find the trigger to the apparently secret door the girl used to escape.

While the Deadmen looked at the wall with mixed curiosity and concern, Guild started shouting orders to lock down the town. He organised search parties to find the spy.

Bit of an overreaction really.

After all, how much trouble could one girl get into?


End file.
